Ritz Crackers and Cheese

One of my favorite snacks as a child was spreadable cheese on crackers, which were delicious. However, right away, I noticed something was wrong: there was no red stick to spread the cheese! No, they expected me to dip my crackers into the thick, artificial substance (with an aftertaste of plastic) they are passing off as cheese. What if my cracker breaks? On top of that, now that I am older, I am aware that the fluorescent orange cheese product (Yes, it is not even real cheese; it is a product) is simply a toxic mixture of man-made chemicals. While the crackers are tasty and wholesome, the cheese is as fake as Donald Trump’s tan — funny that they are the same color, too. Aside from these problems, the easy, packaged snack tasted just as divine as I remember. Unfortunately, my newfound awareness of the artificial ingredients listed and the exasperating lack of the proper tools required to effectively devour the duo, the treat is ultimately ruined for me.