Since moving to California in July, I’ve picked up on a couple of things that are starkly different than the way things are back in Iowa. Now, before we proceed, I’m going to need you — a Californian — to take off your defensive hat and be calm, as the rest of the nation expects you to be.

That’s right, folks, “California chill” isn’t a myth: you heard it here first. If Midwesterners heard half the things you say to each other, they’d be shocked. Maybe California is supposed to be accepting and liberal, but based off my high school experience so far, you all aren’t afraid to tell it how it is. Maybe it’s dishonest, but at least in Iowa, there was a (probably fake) sense of acceptance, much more than what California life has shown me thus far.

Let’s address the obvious: most of you cannot deal with the actual weather. Hold on before you object: if we’re being fair, I think my judgment on this is due to one person I saw almost start to cry for her hair when it was sprinkling outside. I’ve already seen myself become weak since moving here; since when is 45 degrees “freezing?” If it’s 45 degrees in February or later in the year in Iowa, you’ll see people wearing shorts to school.

And while we’re on the subject of shorts, Californians do wear a lot more dark colors and clothes that don’t cover up as much as is acceptable in Iowa. There will, of course, always be people who wear next-to-nothing to school and have no problem doing so. Which, of course, doesn’t bother me, but it’s a noticeable difference between California and other states’ cultures.

Another couple of obvious California clichés I can’t go without mentioning: In-N-Out Burger and celebrities. If I had a dollar every time one of my Iowan friends asked me if I’ve met any celebrities… although the rest of the country may not be able to detect clear differences between Northern and Southern California, at least we know where it is (if you don’t know where any Midwestern state are, this is directed at you). And even though I came into this California situation expecting to meet people obsessed with In-N-Out, I’m still pretty surprised at how unbearably Californian the whole phenomenon is.

At any rate, California, thank you for your nice weather and providing a select group of some of the best people to exist. Maybe I’ll regret taking you for granted when I leave.