I remember my fifth grade self desperately wanting a puppy, so naturally, I begged my mom for one. She fed me the “no puppy until you can prove you’re responsible” line to buy time, presumably until I had graduated high school. Thus began my attempts to confirm my responsibility. It began with daily chores, such as cleaning my room and doing dishes, and soon I had exceeded her expectations of an eleven year old’s motivation.

   It was time for the next step: the goldfish. If I could keep a diminutive aquatic creature alive for an extended period of time, then I could have a puppy. I was thrilled to go to Petco and pick out my victim, a tiny orange fish that happened to be slow enough for the employee to catch. With a little food and a lot of luck, my goldfish survived its first two weeks at my house. It appeared to be growing fatter, so my mom warned me to go easy on the fish flakes. One Saturday, we left early to go to Santa Cruz, and returned home late. Being a responsible pet owner, I had fed my fish prior to our departure and did not think anything would cause a problem. Of course I was mistaken.

   I returned home to a crime scene: my fish floating upside down in the tank, lifeless and foul smelling. I was infuriated with myself for killing my fish, and with it my dreams of owning a puppy, but then I noticed something moving in the tank: tiny fish babies! My fish had died during childbirth, a feat I had not known to be possible. I then made my second mistake, naively overestimating my nurturing capabilities. I assumed I would be able to raise the baby fish. I was entirely wrong; every last one died. Needless to say I was heartbroken, not so much for the fish lives, but because I ruined my chance of a puppy.

   My case was not an uncommon one: This goldfish technique is used by numerous parents to stall the adoption of a larger, furrier animal. Thousands of goldfish are killed by incompetent pet owners each year. If this was the case for any other animal, it would be considered abuse. For the sake of innocent children and goldfish alike, these creatures should not be used by parents to avoid the burden of a real pet.