Like any addict, the first time I tried my poison, I was instantly hooked; I couldn’t stay away. I looked for it where ever I could, willing to try it in any shape or form. I would travel hundreds of miles to scratch my itch, satisfy my craving, and after each hit, I would promise myself, and those around me, that that was it, my last time, that I would stop this controlling madness. But with each year it became worse, my addiction was truly jaw-dropping. My friends astonished with how far it had gotten, my parents begging me to stop, as my addiction was starting to take its toll on them as well, yet little did they know they were the ones to blame.

While technically my addiction burgeoned at the young age of 13, I know that it actually started a decade earlier, when I was three, and my dad would watch me every other Friday. At the time my dad’s job allowed him every other Friday off, which fortunately for me, meant one less day I was at my babysitter’s. Each outing we shared was not marked by any special occasion, we usually just ran errands, however, every trip was accompanied with the refreshing treat of what soon would become my most powerful vice: music.

Growing up listening to classic rock quickly forged my eventual taste for alternative rock music, purely on sound alone, but the older I became the more I came to appreciate a song for its lyrics over its beat. What was a love once shared with my dad, became solely my own as I grew older and the thirst for music was no longer a want, but a need. I carried this need with me and it translated into everything I did, even the choice to pursue journalism. My connection with these artists was solidified when I saw them live and journalism lets me articulate how each band makes me feel and why I feel that way. As a singer expresses their feelings through music, I do so through writing, but through live music, I was able to unhinge and enhance my writing. I became addicted to concerts because I became addicted to the way they made me feel and they way they made me write afterward.

At the end of every concert, I felt amazing — I was riding on a concert high, something that has yet to match any feeling I have ever experienced, and it felt extraordinary. Live music and concerts as a whole allow me to connect with myself, through music, in a way that nothing else has. As a writer and a journalist, I thrive on the honesty and the ability to express oneself through words and going to concerts just elevates my passion, taking it to a new level by pairing an artist’s words and emotions with music.

My addiction may be life altering, but not life ruining like most are assumed to be. It did shape my life, impact how I see the world, make me who I am entirely, and without constantly attending concerts my life would be empty, meaningless, and I would be a completely unrecognizable.